February 2013

Inside this Newsletter:

Message from Carolyn:

Alan and I will be having a romantic dinner this year at Bob’s Steak and Chop House at the Omni Tucson National Resort. This is our 25th Valentine’s Day together, and I still remember our first. He told me to pack my bag for a warm destination and surprised me with a trip to Mexico. Even I, a relationship counselor, didn’t think two people could stay this in love for 25 years. My card to him says, “I love the beautiful way your love has changed my life for the better. With every step we take together, I love you even more. You are my best friend, heart and soul, and the love of my life.” And of course we just took this step to semi-retirement down here to Tucson, and it was a big one. I also have a card to him from our 6 cats that he so kindly helped me bring down here. It says, “Will feign affection for food, Happy Valentine’s Day from your loving cats.”

A couple that I’ve been working with got engaged this Valentine’s Day and their story is below. They included me in the celebration. They flew down here to Tucson to buy the ring at the gem show and we all had drinks together and then they joined me at the karaoke bar and we closed the place. Had to get Alan out of bed to come and get us since our friends had left and we had no cars. We had a blast!

Below are a couple of my favorite pictures from my backyard – the Catalina Mountains at sunset and a hummingbird at the feeder with saguaros in the background.

I filled last year’s Valentine Newsletter with lots of tips for singles and couples for having a great Valentine’s Day. Click here to see those tips again.


A Valentine Engagement

My clients Suzie and Joe have known each other for 7 years as friends and in a romantic relationship for 4 years. During this time they have grown very close but have struggled with intimacy on many levels. After 3 years of living together they began to contemplate marriage…mostly unsuccessfully. Each see the great potential of their relationship yet, both had reservations at different times and for different reasons.

Suzie, who has been engaged before to an unfaithful man was somewhat hesitant to give her heart again. On one hand Joe offered complete trust and faithfulness, friendship and compatibility unlike any she had known before. But after being single so long and feeling that thrill of danger from the occasional bad boy rush, was wondering if something was missing…

Joe adores Suzie on multiple levels: he loves her big personality, generous heart and other body parts, as well as her friendship and love. But sometimes he felt insecure and tried too hard since he feared that she wasn’t ready to give up the single life. He had been previously married for 17 years to the “wrong” woman and was NOT going there again. His past hot romances and his own feelings of that bad girl rush were also leaving him feeling that there might be something missing. The pressure of past unhealthy lifestyles and failed relationships was messing up their plan to have a long-term, healthy relationship together.

Through therapy, they have both grown and worked through their issues. Suzie has realized that she does not need or want that unhealthy tension/adrenaline rush. It just makes her heart hurt and makes her more stressed. The rush she felt when she was single and trying to win someone over was just love addiction (which comes from feeling rejected). She now knows that love in a long-term relationship is built on mutual comfort, happiness and trust – something she has always wanted. She now enjoys committed, selfless love from a man she can trust, and that is way more exciting.

Joe realized that his trying so hard was a turn-off to her, which pushed her away, so he has backed off and given her the space that she needed. They’ve both grown and now appreciate their realness and honesty, as well as newfound mutual respect.

Suzie and Joe recently decided they were ready to make their relationship permanent. They flew down here to Tucson (where I am for the winter) to go to the gem show to purchase an engagement ring. They found a beautiful ring and we all went out for drinks to celebrate their engagement! Happy Valentine’s Day Suzie and Joe!

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Dear Carolyn,

I was a client of yours for a brief time in the past and only terminated therapy because we moved out of the area. You are on my mind heavily this week as I am helping my best friend confront his parents. As I write this I am scanning that chapter from Loving Him Without Losing You to send him. We have already gone over some of the principles and he asked for the whole chapter!

While going over the book today I realized just how much it helped me and how much I have internalized things such as the 4 steps of Healthy Communication. I am always using the 4 steps and telling others about the 4 steps.

I redid some of the checklists and the results were shocking, how much stronger I am. I now have enough self love to be able to really love. I’m in a new relationship and I am totally setting up expectations with this one on how I expect to be treated and its working! I am just so much more comfortable with myself. It was very hard but I am becoming a much better person and am reaching toward happiness. Your book has helped me so much over the years and I wanted to let you know that.

Thank you!

~ Candy E.

I just subscribed to your dating tips and I must confess everything you pointed out is really on point.

You're doing a good job. Keep it up Ma'am.

Emypresh, Nigeria.

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Date Camp for Singles

Carolyn recently joined a group of dating coaches with www.DateCamp.tv. This group offers relationship experts and dating resources to millions of singles. Date Camp delivers information and advice through a learning center that has articles and videos, retreats and camps, and a soon-to-be reality TV series. They are also looking for a few male and female singles to use in their videos, so if you’re interested, contact them through their website or through Carolyn.

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I’d like to introduce you to our new business venture... Date Camp! At Date Camp, we connect the best relationship experts and dating resources to the millions of single hearts looking for love. We are not an online dating service, rather, Date Camp delivers the information and advice needed to date successfully and love passionately.

The Date Camp Experience is comprised of three components: The Date Camp Learning Center is an on-line resource for professional advice, innovative resources and quality programs; Date Camp Weekend Retreats and Camps allow participants to actively participate in group coaching sessions, interact one-on-one with dating coaches and connect with other campers; and the Date Camp Reality TV Series is a cable television program designed for national distribution that broadcasts all the fun, drama and love of Date Camp right into your home.

In order to launch Date Camp as a national program, we need to attract major corporate sponsors. And to get their attention, we need to show that we have a large following of interested, enthusiastic and active members. This is where we need your help!

Our initial goals are to: 1) expand the e-mail database on our website; 2) increase visits to our Facebook page; 3) build up the number of viewings of our videos on our YouTube Channel; and 4) show activity on our Twitter account. Increased activity on all our social media outlets will demonstrate to potential sponsors a growing interest in the programs and opportunities offered through Date Camp.

Here is what we are asking you to do:

  1. Visit our website at www.DateCamp.tv, go to the Registration Box and add your name and e-mail address to our mailing list. Please give us your feedback on how we can improve the site, what content you find most interesting and what topics you would like to see discussed on the site.

  2. Watch some of our videos from the website. They can be found in The Learning Center section under Coaching Clinic Videos, One-On-One Videos and Dating Stories. By watching them from the site, you will be increasing the viewer counts on our YouTube Channel.

  3. You can go directly to YouTube at www.YouTube.com/DateCamp and subscribe to our channel. Please click on "Like" and leave positive comments on your favorite videos.

  4. Visit our Facebook Page, please click on "Like" and share it with your other friends. And feel free to leave a few positive posts!

  5. If you use Twitter, add #DateCamp to receive our tweets.

  6. And finally, share this email with all of your other friends, family members and colleagues. (As a courtesy, please delete the e-mail addresses of others before forwarding this e-mail.)

Thank you very much for helping us launch this unique venture. Date Camp will be a fun, exciting and informative program. Our goal at Date Camp is to turn dating... into love! Thanks for participating.

Jalynn Venis
Executive Director
Date Camp, LLC

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About Carolyn

Carolyn Bushong, L.P.C, is an expert on relationships and a licensed therapist. She is known for being one of the top relationship therapists in the country and the author of 3 relationship books. She has appeared on Oprah, the View, and many other TV shows, and she has been giving relationship advice on Denver radio for more than15 years. She has been helping people like you improve your life and relationships for more than 30 years. Cosmo, US Weekly and other magazines quote her expert relationship advice, and McCall’s named her one of the “Top 6 Passion Doctors” in the country. Carolyn Bushong always has fresh, up-to-date, hot information on topics that will inspire you and change your life and improve your relationships. She has clients all over the country, some who come into her office and others who receive Carolyn's expert advice through phone counseling. Carolyn Bushong is an excellent psychotherapist, but she also lives what she teaches, as she is in a happy, healthy relationship with Alan, her mate of 25 years.

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How to get Carolyn Bushong's Relationship Advice:

Individual Counseling: l hour or ½hr sessions in office or phone, Health Insurance covers a portion. Couples Counseling: 1 ½ hr. sessions, Health Ins. covers a portion.
Purchase Carolyn Bushong's books: for sale in her office,
on her website or B&N.com.
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Phone Counseling is a great way to do therapy, especially for the really busy person who's constantly on the go, or the person who is shy or hesitant to talk about their problem, or when the weather is bad and you don't want to drive to a therapist's office. It just makes sense in this day and age to be able to call and discuss a problem and get advice on a situation with having to leave work and drive to my office.

Email Advice: Visit Carolyn's website for more information.


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Carolyn Bushong, L.P.C.
P.O. Box 1094
Conifer, CO 80433


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