Inside this Newsletter:
June has been interesting so
far. Last Friday night, Alan walked onto the front deck
of our mountain house and came within a few feet of a
big black bearís ass. It was sitting on the railing,
batting at the bird feeder. Alan backed up into the
house and the bear never even turned around. Then the
next night, we both watched as the bear came back onto
the back deck, walked around the house, then back up the
stairs on the front deck. He put his paws on the
railing, looked at where the bird feeder had been (we
had taken it down of course), then looked through the
picture window directly at us, and then left. Needless
to say, we had brunch outside the next day with a
revolver on the table. I called the wildlife division
and asked what I should do if I encounter the bear while
Iím gardening, and they said, ďSing,Ē (and of course Iím
a singer) so that the bear will avoid me. Alan said that
it always works on him!
Alan and I went back to my sisterís in Charlotte in May
to see my family. I visited with my 88-year-old dad in
the nursing home, and he still knew me even though he
has dementia. My mother flew down there and was amazing.
She is 84 and reminds me of Betty White. People even ask
her if sheís Betty. Though not as funny, sheís short and
sort of looks a little like her, and is full of energy
(she goes dancing every Friday night with her younger
boyfriend). We stayed with my nephew Brett and his
girlfriend at his gorgeous lake house. Alan and I had
trouble keeping up with them as they took us to the
hottest private dance club in Charlotte (Butter).
Michael Jordan was even there, and one of his body
guards grabbed my arm, thinking I was trying to get to
Michael. I obviously had a few words for him. All in
all, we had a wonderful time and it was great to see
Carolyn Saves Another Marriage!!! Carolyn is quoted in the
next issue of First Magazine for Women
First For Women
July 5, 2010
Marriage SOS - She wants couple time, he loves a crowd
Carolyn was quoted as saying:
"With Yvonne and Rob, the challenges were clear,"
says Carolyn Bushong, "Rob needed to recognize his wife's
desire for boundaries, while Yvonne needed to honor her
husband's cultural mores"
Go here to read the
entire article now.
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Info from Carolynís Fox 31 TV show on Martino TV Wed., May 19 and
on Kelly & Riderís radio show on KYGO Thurs., May 20
Why do people become jealous?
they become threatened, fear losing
something or someone
their mate is very secretive and/or
has cheated before
they project onto their mate their
own bad behavior
theyíve had mates cheat on them in
they are insecure and feel they are
not good enough
they think that love means ownership
How to Stop Being Jealous
Ask questions to allay your fears.
(Ask about situations that still seem suspect to you.) Then let
Realize how damaging jealousy is to
your relationship. (The more jealous you act, the more likely
your mate is to cheat; if accused, why not do it.)
Own your part of it. (Iím insecure,
my ex cheated, Iíve cheated.)
Build your own confidence. (Remind
yourself of your positive traits and why this person is with
Change the way you think. (Become
flattered that others want what you have. Also get a prideful,
attitude like ďIf he really wants someone else, I donít want him
Make deals. (Ask him or her to do
things to reassure you like ďIf youíll call me once when you get
there, I promise not to call you the rest of the evening.)
How to Handle a Jealous Mate
Reassure him that you love him and
that he has no reason to worry.
him how you feel about his jealousy and let him know that it is
destroying your relationship.
Make it clear that you will not
restrict your activities because of his insecurities.
Give him an ultimatum: If you do not
stop this jealous behavior now, you will have to get some
counseling, and if you wonít do that, I will leave the
Go here to
watch the video now!
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I just received your voice mail from
today!! I just wanted to get back to you to tell you that everything
is going really good. However I do have some hard times still but
nothing I can't handle thanks to you!!! Thank you so much for
everything you have said to me to wake my ass up!! The only real
issue I have is that I feel sad when I have to see my ex because he
is so sad that our relationship is over still. I had to tell him
that whatís done is done and there is nothing that is going to fix
it. Of course I care for him but not the same way I cared for him
when we were married. I use to get guilty when I would see him or
anyone sad, but I know that itís something they need to get through
and not to involve myself, because I can not control others feelings
(only my own). Iím definitely working through my feelings and not
letting them lead me in the wrong direction such as guilt.
Iím really starting to find my own identity and starting to love who
I am as a person. My daughters are also doing great too. I just
started to read your book,
ďThe 7 Dumbest
Relationship Mistakes Smart People MakeĒ. Iíve also
started to date again too! I started dating a new guy who is really
nice. Iím not trying to rush things with him though. I want us get
to know each other first, before I even think about a relationship.
I can't thank you enough,
~ S.A., Aurora
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For the rest of this article (Carolyn
is quoted in), go to Cosmo, June issue, pp 137-139. Now on
him your sweet side OR that you have his back. (Donít mother or
chase him, but do a few sweet things, download a song, get him a
Show him youíre always game OR show
him youíre fun! (Donít start the evening by telling him your
problems or nagging him about something he didnít do.)
Work your look OR look hot for him.
(Not that you canít ever wear your sweats, but he also needs to
see you all dressed up.)
Keep him engrossed OR talk about
interesting things. (Not your girlfriendís problems or what
youíre wearing to the party this weekend.)
Leave something to the imagination
OR keep your primping in privacy. (Too much information about
your bodily functions or your fat tummy turns him off.)
Let the small stuff slide OR donít
get on his case about every small issue. (He will feel that
youíre going to try to change him.)
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Carolyn Bushong, L.P.C, is an expert on
relationships and a licensed therapist. She is known for being one
of the top relationship therapists in the country and the author of
3 relationship books. She has appeared on Oprah, the View, and many
other TV shows, and she has been giving relationship advice on
Denver radio for 10 years. She has been helping people like you
improve your life and relationships for more than 25 years. Cosmo,
US Weekly and other magazines quote her expert relationship advice,
and McCallís named her one of the ďTop 6 Passion DoctorsĒ in the
country. Carolyn Bushong always has fresh, up-to-date, hot
information on topics that will inspire you and change your life and
improve your relationships. She has clients all over the country,
some who come into her office and others who receive Carolyn's
expert advice through phone counseling. Carolyn Bushong is an
excellent psychotherapist, but she also lives what she teaches, as
she is in a happy, healthy relationship with Alan, her mate of 21
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as I post all of my articles there.
How to get Carolyn Bushong's Relationship Advice:
Individual Counseling: l hour or Ĺhr sessions in office
or phone, Health Insurance covers a portion. Couples Counseling:
1 Ĺ hr. sessions, Health Ins. covers a portion.
Group Counseling: Tuesday night group meets 5:30 - 7:30 pm, 8
members, less expensive.
Purchase Carolyn Bushong's books: for sale in her office,
website or B&N.com.
Subscribe to free email newsletter:
Phone Counseling is a great way to do therapy, especially for
the really busy person who's constantly on the go, or the person who
is shy or hesitant to talk about their problem, or when the weather
is bad and you don't want to drive to a therapist's office. It just
makes sense in this day and age to be able to call and discuss a
problem and get advice on a situation with having to leave work and
drive to my office.
Email Advice: Visit
Carolyn's website for more information.
For free articles on handling family
issues, guilt, money problems, dating, how to stop fighting dirty,
and 10 reasons youíre not married yet, go to my website at
if you havenít received my free 52 relationship tips, go in a sign
up all over again and youíll get them. For free articles on orgasms,
why men leave, being single, Michael Jackson, when he doesnít want
sex, and jealousy, go to
www.Examiner.com and type
in my name, then click on my name and it will bring up my articles.