January 1, 2009
Inside this Newsletter:
to Make 2009 the Best Ever
By Carolyn Bushong
risks. Step outside your comfort zone and
challenge yourself, i.e. learn something new, change
jobs, move, skydive, go to Europe alone. Do
something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have
Promise to set
boundaries with people who drain your time and
energy – family, friends, people you may
feel sorry for. Relationships need to be give and
take. When they aren’t, they drain you and take away
time you need for your own happiness and your true
and speak your mind more often. Whether it’s
the waiter who was rude to you, issues you have with
your mate or someone you’re dating, or something you
need to get off your chest with a friend, stop
priorities. What is most important to you in
your life right now – work, family, fun, home,
health, husband/wife/lover, education, children,
etc.? Whatever it is, be sure that your actions show
that and that you’re living your life accordingly.
resolutions with people you care about, i.e.
your mate, children, family or friends, such as,
“Let’s promise that we’ll go out more this year,” OR
“Let’s promise to always try to resolve our fights
by the end of each weekend.”
yourself more. Promise to make yourself
happier by self-nurturing, i.e. massages, buying
yourself flowers, make your bedroom more cozy, pick
up a great book, a CD, a special coffee, your
favorite wine, a special wine glass, or sexy
Do more things
you enjoy this year, i. e. sing, dance, take
a cooking class, ski more days, have more parties,
become a Big Sister/Brother, read more romance
Resolutions for Couples
Relationship Resolutions For Couples
Relationship Resolution to resolve all issues that you
repeatedly fight about. Unresolved issues create resentment
and resentment erodes a relationship over time. Instead of
trying to prove how right you are (even if you are), focus on a
solution that respects both opinions.
Relationship Resolution to have at least one date night a week.
Don’t talk about work or kids on date night, only discuss the
two of you. Pretend you’re actually dating instead of married.
Share interesting stories and try to seduce your mate with
romance and conversation.
Relationship Resolution to promise to tell your mate what you
want. Often our friends, co-workers or family know more
about what we want from our mate than he or she knows. Your mate
can’t give you what you want unless they know what it is. What
are your goals in life, what do you hope for in the
relationship, what do you want? Speak up!
Relationship Resolution to equalize the relationship.
Out-of-balance relationships, where one person has most of the
control and the other allows it, is the major cause of divorce
(although it’s never listed as that). If you’re the controlling
partner, become vulnerable and share your fears and insecurities
with your mate and hand off some of the power. If you’re in the
powerless position, stand up to your mate and let him or her
know that you want a healthy relationship and that changes are
Relationship Resolution to spend more quality time together
alone. That means no relatives, friends, or even children
are invited. The only goal is to strengthen the “we” bond, which
will strengthen the relationship and improve your personal
happiness, and happiness as a couple. Set a consequence
(punishment) for yourselves if either of you don’t keep the
Relationship Resolution to get marriage counseling or personal
therapy if either of you are not happy with the relationship or
yourselves. If one of you is shut down or you’re less
intimate or romantic than you once were or wish you were, get
help and take care of it now before you allow it to get worse.
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Resolutions for Singles
Relationship Resolutions For Singles
focus more on enjoying and loving my life as it is, i.e.
becoming “Single, Secure, & Satisfied,” (this was an article I
wrote for New Woman Magazine years ago and followed myself that
is available for free upon request), rather than continually
searching for the right mate.
step outside my comfort zone socially so that I stop meeting the
same type of men/women and broaden my horizons.
review my patterns in choosing potential mates, and to figure
out why I keep repeating that pattern (i.e. keep dating
controllers, losers, commitmentphobics, or emotionally
speak up in all of my relationships and let people know what I
want from them and how I expect to be treated.
hold people accountable for their bad behavior, so they will
either change it or I will know to let them go.
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Carolyn Bushong, L.P.C,
is an expert on relationships and a licensed therapist. She is known
for being one of the top relationship therapists in the country and
the author of 3 relationship books. She has appeared on Oprah, the
View, and many other TV shows, and she has been giving relationship
advice on Denver radio for 10 years. She has been helping people
like you improve your life and relationships for more than 25 years.
Cosmo, US Weekly and other magazines quote her expert relationship
advice, and she writes articles for on-line article banks. Carolyn
Bushong always has fresh, up-to-date, hot information on topics
that will inspire you and change your life and improve your
relationships. She has clients all over the country, some who come
into her office and others who receive Carolyn's expert advice
through phone counseling. Carolyn Bushong is an excellent
psychotherapist, but she also lives what she teaches, as she is in a
happy, healthy relationship with Alan, her mate of 21 years.
Email me your Topics & Ideas for the newsletter at
How to get Carolyn Bushong's Relationship Advice:
Individual Counseling: l hour or ½hr sessions in office
or phone, Health Insurance covers a portion. Couples Counseling:
1 ½ hr. sessions, Health Ins. covers a portion.
Group Counseling: Tuesday night group meets 5:30 - 7:30 pm, 8
members, less expensive.
Purchase Carolyn Bushong's books: for sale in her office,
website or B&N.com.
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Phone Counseling is a great way to do therapy, especially for
the really busy person who's constantly on the go, or the person who
is shy or hesitant to talk about their problem, or when the weather
is bad and you don't want to drive to a therapist's office. It just
makes sense in this day and age to be able to call and discuss a
problem and get advice on a situation with having to leave work and
drive to my office.
Email Advice: Visit
Carolyn's website for more information.
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